Veneer

5. Veneer

I dreamt the other day-

Of a night that dreams danced my way-

Of my small and slight, self-made shade-

Of the flitter caught in my harp as the wind, it gently swayed.

I could hear my quickened breaths leaving,

As the wishing wind murmured me secrets where I laid

And those colors of my frequency left me believing.

 

Dreams danced gallantly in my furtive refuge-

I was alone, impassioned by my deluge.

I was perpetual to the pull of our sphere:

Try as it might, it could never leave its smear.

Slowly I was plucked from boxed bliss-

Taken to inverse rationalities of reality.

 

I was noticed, seen was my extrinsic veil.

They glowered that I had it all,

That I was but an easy call.

Given to me was it not, my depths chance to enthrall.

It changed them-

And tried to change me-

Then I couldn’t dream.

 

Couldn’t they see?

All my smiles and laughs were feigned?

All my childhood truth was constrained?

The convoluted belief of what I was and who they saw never waned.

Loved by all was my shawl:

A twiddled misconception of my impression,

When all that was needed was discretion.

 

I dream again today.

No longer do I ponder to deep into the fickleness of belief.

No, into the wishing well I flung that leaf

And the answer of my breath again awoke me to relief.

I cast myself out of the flocks,

Cut through into my childhood box

And back to the boy-

Who kept warm pocketed rocks.

Perfect Darkness

Switch off your lights.

Perfect darkness is all I want to see.

This is how I want to breathe,

When the shimmer comes in-

And your voice rolls to me like water.

Feel us topple from our ledge

And revel in you.

 

Stay under-

Keep me under-

 

Let’s hide in this crestfallen tide,

Under ripples we’ll delve-

Cycling from within:

Dreams beneath the fathomless swell.

 

Stay under-

Keep me under-

 

Hurts estranged exchange:

Fill over me-

Rise over me-

Paint us in azure.

 

Twisted euphoria:

Roam us.

Tainted magic:

Hold us-

Own us

 

Follow me-

And let’s dive

Into perfect darkness.

Lull

In between splinters-

There, scabbard within our gossamers,

Where we hid tucked in sheets

And our arms meek in tether;

Tried to fool us-

Out of night’s existence,

With our tiny traced hearts-

Wishing scared for a lull.

 

In between those arms-

I felt whole your fears,

Infusing potency to my antimony.

Just us,

And those there walls,

The grunted thuds-

Leaving pleas in tears

And the stark contrast-

Of rained black smears.

 

In between silence’s choke-

The walls grew morphed,

Slowly warping, neither out nor in;

Emulating those beating throbs-

Suffocating from within.

Then came our awaited lull,

In which walls returned vapid

And our venations to them go.

 

In between slinked steps,

I picture you there-

Swollen from these nights

And my steps fill out-

They walk me

To that lurid, lurid taint.

I become like the man-

Who inlayed this sinuous tapestry

In our own home.

I use his vices vigor-

Make it my own.

 

 

 

 

In between my hands,

Comes the cold, cold metal-

Cradling me to myself;

Fog sweeping dense behind,

But you are there

And so is she.

Then.

Only Then-

Do I realise what I’ve done.

 

In between these veins,

Sweeps thick a blood resounded;

A blood shared in anguishes ache

But a blood that mocks:

Calling me and him one

But saying nothing of us,

You.  Sister of Mine.

That I never had.